If you hadn't let him go, she would still be alive.
How can you even think that? 
She's dead.  It's my fault... I let him go.  I should have turned him in...
He's your BROTHER.
But...

I'd been arguing with myself for a good three hours... maybe more.  I wasn't paying
attention to time.  Feira was sitting next to me on a bench outside the town square, the party was
over.  The police had been interrogating me, healers closing up the small wounds on me.  Ryuu
had been taken away to a crematoria.  They said a plaque would be put up near my mother's for
her memory.  A suitable place. 
Penelope was crying, sitting on Feira's shoulder, her translucent wings glittering like the
pavement from the police lights; red, blue, mix, black...  I was staring through the asphalt
oblivious to everything.  It hurt... It hurt so much.  I hadn't been able to do anything.  Nothing at
all.  It hurt so bad that I couldn't feel.  Like a sensory overload or something....
"I-is that all?"  Feira asked, choking back her own sobs.  "He should get home.  He–(deep
breath)–He's been through a lot."
Apparently they nodded because Feira was tugging on my arm to get me to stand.  The
emergency blanket fell off my shoulders, but she caught it and wrapped it back on me.  I was
numb...number actually.  I'd been numb to begin with.
We reached my house and Penelope flew off to find tissues and start some tea.  Feira sat
me down on my couch, whispering about how things would still be ok.  Everything would be ok.
Yea, I'd wake up and realize all of this was just a nightmare.  A horrific nightmare that never
ended...
Gods, that razorblade in my cabinet was suddenly very enticing.
Penelope fluttered down onto my blanketed shoulder and pulled out a tissue from the box.
She ripped the corner off for herself and handed Feira the rest.  I didn't need one.  I had nothing
to cry.  I'd cried it all out, lying deadened in the snow, staring at her corpse. 
That image has stayed with me for my whole life.
I sighed deeply and Penelope hugged my ear, since it was the only thing she could fit her
arms around.  She was only five inches tall.  I let my ear twitch back a hug and she sobbed into
it.  Feira was crying silent tears.  I was stuck in the middle of them, feeling highly
uncomfortable.  I wasn't crying, I couldn't help it, and I knew they must've noticed.  I hoped
they thought it from shock. 
"I'm gonna go to bed... if you guys don't mind..."I said slowly, choosing my words
carefully.
Feira nodded slowly and Penelope let go of my ear.  "Of course," the foxgirl said,
dabbing at her eyes, "We'll stay here for you."  She forced a sad smile and ran a finger along my
cheek, "I'm so sorry you had to go through this, Van.  You sleep well, ok?"
I stood up, nodding and walked to my room.  I flopped onto the mattress, stuffing a
pillow over my face, hoping to smother myself to death...unfortunately it doesn't work that way.
So I ended up letting myself drift into a light slumber, not totally sleeping because if I did I knew what images would haunt me.  If I saw Hell on the back of my eyelids, I knew there'd be worse in my subconscious. 
Eventually I switched my TV on, using low volume as not to draw the girls' attention and
watched infomercials till the early, early hours of the morning.  I didn't sleep at all.  Gym
equipment and phony diet pills were better than the back of my eyelids.
Much better.
          ~ ~  A~ ~
The following weeks were annoying.  People kept stopping by with their condolences,
muttering things about how it'll all be better.  I just had to let it all pass.  Bullshit...all of it.
Nothing would be alright.  If after a whole five years of normalcy from the terror of one week
didn't prove to lighten my outlook, and now I had no family or friends left in the world how was a month of therapy going to help?  I stayed in my house, barely even bothering to get out of bed.
I didn't eat; I didn't want to.  Feria lectured me over and over and said I should at least drink
something.  I drank eight glasses of water a day just like a good little catboy.  That was all.  I
stared at a blank wall or the TV, never really seeing what was there.  Just staring mindlessly.
My thoughts would wander from new movies that were out, infomercials I watched at
night, Feria's lectures, Penelope's dream catchers of leaves and twigs and small beads hanging
over my head.....  I was a living zombie, a waking coma in medical terms.  No one could get a
word out of me, I was mute. 
No one could really get my attention either.  My vital signs were perfect but the only
movement I made was from the bathroom to my bed and vice versa. 
Sean visited once and said that he would find Serge and make sure he paid for what he
did.  Like I really wanted revenge. Sure I was horrifically mortified by what had happened, but I
knew it wasn't his fault.  He didn't mean to do it.  So I just stared at the ceiling as Sean spoke his
plans.  If I had known some curses I would've been muttering them. 
I wanted everyone to leave me alone.
I got my wish one day when a bad blizzard hit the town and no one was at my house
when it hit.  Thus, everyone was snowed in and no one could get out to get into my house.  Ha-
ha!  Sweet lady luck.  I had enough food to last me a year since Feria had been grocery shopping
nonstop, saying I had no food in my house.
I decided to finally get out of the bed one night.  The TV was beginning to bother my
eyes again and I was stiff.  I broke out of my zombie-like state and sauntered into the kitchen.  I
checked the fridge; health food.  I grunted and pushed the veggies out of the way.  Where was the leftover Chinese? After a moment I realized it was out in the trash.  I growled slamming the door closed and headed to the bathroom. 
After relieving myself, I splashed some cold water on my face and looked up into the
mirror.  I was so thin.  My cheekbones were sticking out and I could trace the contours of my
ribs.  My shirt hardly fit and was slowly heading towards the edge of my shoulders.  I sighed and pulled it back up and decided some food would be good for me.  Apparently lounging around doesn't make you gain weight unless you actually ingest some form of a carbon-based energy source...oh well.
I grabbed some wholewheat bread and organic peanut-butter (I had to mix in the oil since
it was separated from the actual peanut crap) and ate that.  It wasn't much but I didn't want much anyway, I still felt sick from all the shit I'd been exposed to.  I hardly stomached the sandwich. 
I checked the clock and saw it was just after midnight.  The house was cold, the windows
were covered in snow.  I stared out into the blackness of night, a new moon shining through the
snow that was falling into the banks lining the house.  I shivered softly, feeling a cold breeze
along my shoulders.  But it wasn't because of the weather... it was an eery chill.  It bothered me,
and I swear I saw something in the darkness outside of my window. 
Shaking my head I turned away and sat down on the couch. 
The books were still in piles, but I noticed some were packed away in boxes again.  I
picked up the leather bound book that I'd been losing myself in and decided to finish it.  There
was mention of a great powerful lord by the name Astaroth, who supposedly reigned in the
netherworld for centuries, controlling all sorts of sinister creatures.  Necromancy was his greatest tool and he wielded it with great strength.  There were illustrations on the pages of a tall man, skinnier than me (he looked anorexic, but muscular) with long white hair.  Black energy was glowing from him and in his hand it all settled into a ball.  There were demons and skeletons and all manner of creatures wrenching themselves from the earth to answer his command.
Staring at the illustration, once again I had that strange tingle across my shoulders and
down my spine.  I shuddered and grabbed one of the blankets draped on the couch and wrapped it about me.  It did very little to warm me up.
There was another ruler of the Underworld, Raiko, who dominated many peoples and
creatures.  He was a tyrant who didn't give a care to anyone but himself.  His biggest hobby was
women.  Any new soul entering the Underworld, of female make-up, was his.  I read it with
apathy but deep inside I felt hatred towards him and his little demi-god lackey, Puck, who helped gather his prey.
I'd read of other great lords and demi-gods of the Netherworld and Hell.  I heard little of
Heaven but figured there would be one if there were a Hell; for the book spoke of fallen angels.
Why, one of the great lords, Xel'etoth, was a fallen angel.  I took a liking to him quickly, he just
seemed to see things as I did.  There was good and there was evil, but you didn't necessarily
have to be evil to live in an ‘evil' place, or vice versa. 
Time passed quickly as I read and it was soon early in the morning.  I'd finished reading
the book and found a slip of paper in the last few pages.  It had toppled out with strange lettering on it: Twisted, scrawled letters like fingernail marks on a blackboard.  I didn't understand any of it but noticed some of the symbols to be names I'd read of.  At the bottom I found a note that chilled me to the bone; it was from my mother, it was in her handwriting. 
            Put this book back! Don't unleash him!
What the hell?  I shivered and thought maybe I'd made a mistake.  This couldn't be a
note from Mom.  No way.  Still...whoever wrote it was much like my mother in their quick
messages and the note itself bothered me.  I snapped it shut quickly and headed towards the attic.
Best not take chances, right?
I entered the dark attic and looked around for the light switch.  I flicked the bulb on but it
fizzled, flickered, surged and then finally went out.  I whispered a curse on my luck and waited
for my eyesight to adjust.  I could make it to the back by memory and by the dim light of the
sunrise through the window.  It was creepy in the top floor with the boards creaking under my
feet and the strange shadows mixed with color bursts left over by light in my retinas. 
But something pushed me along, the same as something had when I was trying to find
this cursed record.  For a long time I thought I was going the right way, but I found myself not at the bookcase but at the stairs back down to the house.  I'd circled around.  I muttered under my breath and headed back downstairs. 
I found a flashlight in the hall closet near the guestroom.  Looking in I saw the bed still
made and I had to lean against the doorframe for support as my knees began to give way.  I could still hear Ryuu's song and see Serge's arm hanging off the edge, his jaw slackened. 
My breathing was fast as I entered the bathroom and opened the cupboard over the sink.
I knew it was in here... Tony had left it and Mom kept it for me.....  Where...where...ah ha!  I
pulled the old fashion razor out of it's box, the golden tool shining dully in the fluorescent
lighting.  I twisted it open and pulled the blade out.  The flashlight was sitting on the counter, the lightbulb over my head flickered softly and I was suddenly aware of the dripping of water in
pipes behind the mirror, my ears rang with the drip, drip behind it...behind the mirror.
A gaunt looking figure stared back at me from the reflective glass.  His forearm stretched
and his other trembling hand holding a razorblade, poised to rip at the flesh.  I was so lost, so
alone.  I had no one to turn to.  Penelope and Feria had been so kind to look after me, but now I
had no more family.  Serge was as good as dead and Ryuu was gone completely, never to return.  Tony never wrote or anything, he could be dead.  Mom was gone, along with all her family...and I was ready to leave, too.  I was ready to let myself feel something instead of this constant daze.
I wasn't living anymore.  I was ready to die, ready to send the blood flowing...
"But you needn't do that, Donovan Lee."  A chilling, mockingly light-heartened voice
resounded in the bathroom, making my head snap away from the blue vein in my forearm and
back to the mirror.  A figure emerged from the misty essence of it.  A grinning face stared back
at me.  "I've taken quite a liking to you..."
I started, the blade clattering out of my shaking hand and into the sink.  I stared at the
creature in the mirror, standing with his back to me in the mirror.  But he wasn't standing in front of me.  He was only in the mirror.
"W-who are you?"  I asked, taking a step away from the sink.
The creature grinned maliciously and I realized I'd seen it before.  It was the creature
from the attic!  The one that had jumped out from the shadows.  It was catlike, but emaciated
beyond my imagination.  Its bones stuck out in odd but anatomical shapes, I could reach into the hollow behind his collarbone if I had chosen to.  Its ears had ripped and raged edges with a
golden loop pierced in the right one.  The tail ended with a puff of gray fur, the likes of which
covered its matching skin in a thin coat.  The curious thing was the markings tattooed on its skin.
There were purple designs covering its eyes and forearms, legs, torso and tail.  It was the
strangest looking thing I'd ever seen.
"And you're quite strange yourself."  It said deeply; it was male.  "Trying to kill yourself,
Donovan Lee, you have no sense.  And yes, I'm a male.  I can prove it, too."  He grinned, that
evil sneer that climbed all the way across his face to each ear.  Literally.  Like a Cheshire. 
I peered at him intrigued slightly, my cattish curiosity getting the better of my common
sense, "So.. Who are you?"
"I am called Astaroth."  I blinked and my whole guard dropped.  This was Astaroth?
This strange catlike thing was the fabled lord of the Netherworld?  "Indeed the one," He said,
still grinning.  Apparently he read minds.  "Just yours." 
"You read my mind?" I asked, a little lost.
"Yes."  He took a step towards where my arm would be in the mirror and crossed past it.
I swear I felt him rub up against it, chilling my bones.  "You poured your heart out into that
book, Donovan Lee. As such, I have power.  And that grants me the ability to read your mind,
since it is your energy I'm using."  He stopped next to my other hand and grinned into my eyes.  "Book...You mean that old, musty thing?"
"Indeed.  It's called the Necromicon.  It's ancient, and I'm quite young in its writings."
He licked a paw mindlessly.  "You read it and gave me the energy to create myself from scratch
again, and now..."  He looked away from his paw and stared at me with hauntingly yellow eyes. I took another step back form the mirror and hit the wall.  I jumped and headed straight for the
door.  He started laughing, cackling at me as I turned the knob.  "You cannot hide from me,
Donovan Lee!"
I stumbled into the hall shaking my head.  I'm losing it... You're losing it, Van.  I sat
down on the couch, holding my head.  It's the stress of everything, you're letting it get to you.  I
kept telling myself that this wasn't something normal, that it was all in my head.  I'd walk back
into the bathroom, grab the razorblade and that would be it.  Right?  I decided against it.  I wasn'tlooking in or at that mirror for the rest of the day if I could help it.  I wasn't looking in any mirror, for that matter. 
I left the flashlight, Necromicon and razor alone and went out for a walk.  It wasn't really
that cold for the ending of February.  I was a bit surprised that I didn't get goose bumps walking
out in khakis and a long-sleeved shirt.  There was snow everywhere and no one was outside,
except some kids that took advantage of the high hills.  I wandered aimlessly through the town,
hoping to find humor in kids having snowball fights or something... It never seemed to come.  I
gave up my search and walked towards the memoriam/cemetery.  I was muttering song lyrics I'd
heard on the radio to keep my mind from wandering.  It also helped to keep me sane, in any
situation. 
I reached the hill, snow dampening my sneakers through to my toes.  My ears were frozen
at the tips and standing on end.  I looked down at the tombstones; Katrina Isaki, Aaron
Thompson... Kokuryuu....  I knelt down in the snow, not minding the cold, and stared at the gray marble of the marker.  I hated it.  I hated how everything was getting good again and then it
tumbles right back down to the depths of Hell.  Dragging everything I thought true, thought good in this world, down with it.  Damn it all to Hell....I growled and threw the snowball I'd been gathering in my hands all the way across the grave site. 
A gust of chilling wind and snow flew around me and made me shiver and grasp my arms
to keep myself warm.  I started when I heard something...like a distant cry for help.  I turned my head to look around but I didn't see anything.  I heard it again and jerked up from the snow, my body twisting in a perfect circle, trying to see where the plea was coming from.  It sounded so familiar... like someone I knew....I couldn't place it and after a few minutes it was gone and I
didn't hear anymore of it.  Turning back to the graves I stared at them and wondered what the
hell was going on with me.
Was I really going insane?  Could all the death in my life be getting to me?  I need a
shrink.....
A soft glow was illuminating the earth in front of Ryuu's marker and I shook my head,
closing my eyes, trying to will myself into a sensible frame of mind.  It didn't work.  The glow
grew brighter and brighter and suddenly, with a huge burst of radiance, a girl was lying in the
snow.  She looked no older than ten and had deep sunset-red hair, that curled at the tips, and
black panther ears were hidden within the locks.  Her panther-like tail wrapped around her waist tightly, her skin was a soft golden color.  Around her neck was a medallion with a symbol on it, much like the one in the Necromicon, only it had a K on it.  I blinked a few times, a bit intrigued but soon lost the interest when the bare girl stirred into consciousness. 
She pushed herself up on an elbow and looked around, dazed.  Her eyes were a deep
purple with specks of blood red in them.  She caught sight of me and jumped to her feet, not
noticing her lack of clothing.  "Who are you!"  She cried out, taking a defensive stance.  Her
voice was deeper than most her age, and flowed like honey. 
I held up my hands, "Whoa...It's ok.  I won't hurt you.  My name's Van, what's yours?"
I wished now that I'd brought a jacket with me so I could wrap her up, her skin was covered with goose bumps.
She stared at me for a moment then let down her stance and shook her head, making her
golden-red curls bounce around her shoulders, "I don't know... I don't think I have one..."  She
stared at the ground, pondering.
I bit my lip thinking and asked, "Don't have one?  What, you don't remember anything?"
She looked up at me then back at the ground, "Not really.  I remember being alone for a
little while...then someone sent me away...."  She shook her head as if to dismiss a false
assumption, "Then I woke up here...I don't know what my name is."  The end of her tail twitched softly.
"Well, I'll give you one."  I smiled nervously, hoping to lift her mood.  "How
about....uh...Pixy?"  I pronounced it with a hard ‘e' instead of ‘I'.  "It's a name from one of my
favorite books."
She smiled softly, "Ok...Pixy?  I like it."  She took a hesitant step towards me.  "So...I
guess...we're friends?"  She attempted a smile.  I smiled back and nodded.  "Oh!  Yeah!"  She
jumped for joy and hugged me.  I blinked, a little unnerved as I wasn't used to feeling someone
else.  I smiled softly and gently pushed her away. 
"You can come home with me.  We'll get you some clothes."  She blinked, blushing as
she realized what I was saying, and followed suit behind me.  In only moments a small panther
cub was walking along side me.  I jumped slightly but eased when I heard Pixy's voice come
from it.
"I can shift into a panther..." 
"Oh.  Heh, I had a friend who was a shape-shifter."  The memory of Ryuu stabbed my
heart like a knife. 
"She was a good friend, wasn't she?"  Pixy's pace slowed as mine did.  I nodded sadly,
staring at the ground.  "Well, ‘for everything you've lost you've found something else'."
"How'd you know I'd lost her?"  I asked and looked at her, confused.
She shrugged her shoulders slightly, "I don't know.  You just act like it when you talk
about her."
I raised a brow then grinned at her, "You're pretty sharp."
"I try."
~ ~ A~ ~
"I hope it fits you." I said, handing her the smallest shirt I could find and a pair of boxers
that could double as shorts.  "It should."
She pulled them on and the shirt slipped off her shoulder. I couldn't help but grin,
knowing how she felt.  I found a safety-pin and fastened the back together to keep it from falling down her shoulder.  She seemed happy enough and that made me feel a bit better.
"Well," I started looking around my room, "This is my room.  There's a guestroom down
the hall, bathroom's also down there."  Walking out of the room and into the kitchen I said, "This is where food is, eh, a–friend of mine chocked it full of health food, hope you don't mind.
Um...that's all really.  The living room is a mess, I'll admit, I've been cleaning out my attic."
Pixy smiled simply and nodded to my explanation, "It's ok.  I don't mind."  She jumped
up and sat down on the counter of the kitchen, making herself at home.
"Can I fix you anything?  You've got to be hungry."  I pulled the fridge door open.
Pixy's ears flicked softly and her tail twitched; I took that as a yes.  There wasn't much for
fixing, I didn't even know what half of it all was.  "Well...uh..." 
Pixy hopped off the counter top and peered in, "Can I just have a sandwich?"
I blinked, "Uh–sure."  I shrugged and let her reach in and grab the bread and stuff.  She
fixed it up quickly and ate it just as fast.  I busied myself cleaning up the livingroom, trying to
make room for her to sit and stretch out.  The remote to the TV was lost and I took my time
trying to find it.  When I finally discovered where it had disappeared to, Pixy was curled up in a
corner of the sofa flipping through a book.  It was one of mom's sci fi novels.  I watched Pixy's
purple eyes follow the words then flick back to the next line, enthralled.  She was really into it.
So I left her to the book and walked into the bathroom, chancing a look at the mirror.
There was no strange, anorexic cat-thing there to grin at me, just the razor and flashlight.
I quickly put the razor away and walked into the back closet to also dismiss the flashlight.  I was feeling brave so I tidied up the guestroom, fighting back memories.  I lit a few candles to give the house some much needed life and felt my hopes rise.  This little girl was a bit of a blessing, making me feel a bit better, like I had something to live for. 
I eventually got onto the Internet and did the homework assignments I had missed in my
excused absence.  I had an assload of psychology homework, math and science.  History and
English were my easiest subjects and the homework didn't take me long on those.  The others
took all of the evening. 
"What are you doing, Van?"  Pixy made me jump as she watched over my shoulder.  I
was busy typing up an essay on how Biopsychology worked.
"Homework."
"Homework?"  She echoed and sat down on the floor next to me.
I pushed my chair back and forth with my feet, still typing and said, "Schoolwork."
"Oh...School?"
I blinked and looked down at her, "You aren't from this world are you?"  She shook her
head.  I sighed; great.  "Well, school's like...a place where people–uh...teach you stuff."  I felt a
little weird saying all of this.  It was strange, like talking to a very smart infant. 
"Oh.  Cool.  And schoolwork," She said her words slowly, thinking, "Is like work that the
people make you do, to teach you stuff?"
I nodded, "More or less–yea."
She nodded, finally comprehending. There was an easy silence between us, much like the
ones I shared with Ryuu.  It was nice to know I wasn't alone in the house. 
After a while and two essays Pixy said, "I like that book."  She pointed to the science
fiction book she'd been reading earlier. 
I smiled, "Oh, yea.  That was my mom's.  She liked it, too.  You can read it all you want,
you can read any of these."  I shrugged softly, noticing out of the corner of my eye Pixy's smile. I had a feeling I was going to get along with this little girl.
It was late when I finished my homework and Pixy had fallen asleep on the couch, her tail
hanging limply over the edge twitching every now and then.  The book was in her hand and her
mouth was slightly open, soft snores escaping it.  I smiled at her innocence and pulled the book
out from under her fingers and placed it on the coffee table.  Then I picked up one of the blankets draped over the sofa and laid it over her small body.  Her ears flicker and she mumbled words of contentment. 
I left her to sleep there while I went for a walk outside.  My coat was wrapped tightly
around me to keep out the cold late-winter night air.  It was a full moon and I could see
everything, all the snow glowing in the light.  My ears picked up the sound of people sitting on a porch talking, a couple kissing on a bench, other night noises.  This was my small town, the one I'd been born and raised in.  So many memories in these paved sidewalks and neatly trimmed trees.  I got lost in my thoughts for a long time and found myself in the outskirts of the town; even the outskirts looked neat and clean.  The only way to tell where the city stopped was where the forest began.  The city was surrounded by one huge wood.  I looked up at the tall trees and the dark green branches against the starry night sky.  I felt like I was falling backwards, toppling over my feet.  The sky seemed to get smaller and wider as I fell back.  The trees bent over me, suffocating me.  They were laughing at me, grinning madly....sort of like a Cheshire-cat.
I blacked out.
When I came to, so many hours or seconds later, I found myself lying in an alleyway near
the town plaza.  I groaned and sat up, rubbing my head.  I felt a thick liquid transfer from my
fingers to my face.  I dared to look at my hand and found...blood.  Fresh blood.  What the hell
had happened?  What'd I do? 
"I'm really losing my mind."  I said softly to myself, my voice rougher than normal.  I
wiped the blood on the inside of my dark shirt, hoping it didn't stain through.  I checked the rest
of me and found no traces of murder or battery.  Thank the gods.....  I stood up and took some
shaky steps towards the main road.  Not many people were out right now so I figured it must've been in the early hours of the morning, when even the bar-hopers had to crash. 
I sighed and headed back home.  What was I doing?  Out here in the dark, walking around.  What had I been doing?  Why'd I even take a walk?  I asked myself a lot of questions while I took the still-shaky steps back to my inherited house.  It was very cold now, but it didn't snow.  It rained though.  A very heavy rain started to fall, growing in its fury.  I sighed and hugged my arms close to me, letting my palms face upward to was the dried blood off. 
The night was cold, windy, and rainy.  Memories started to flood back, from my childhood.  That night people raided our old home, the great Victorian house, and killed my mother, uncle and cousin, and other family members.  It hurt so badly to think about it, how my mother had been so determined to see me live another day, to see me get out of that house.  She died for me and then that same night–or morning actually–I was raped by some faggot in the slums.  That had scarred me for life and was the basic reason I never dated again.  That man...
I shivered both from the cold and the memory of that night, and the nights to follow that
one.  My pace quickened, ready to get home and into my warm bed, to sleep everything off. 
When I arrived and opened the door I found Pixy sitting right in front of the door.  She
gazed at me for moment, stock still, and her eyes got wider and wider.  She screamed and
jumped up onto her feet, baring his teeth, hissing. 
"What the hell–," I barely had time to dodge the next punch she threw at my face.  I
jumped back, out of the doorway and she slammed it shut on me.  I heard the door lock and I
pounded on it, "Hey!  Let me in!  Pixy!  What the heck are you doing?" 
"Go away!  I'll call the police!"  Her voice was wavering like she was really scared. 
"Pixy?"  Her voice bothered me.  "Pixy, what's wrong?  It's me...Van."
There was silence.  Then, "Van?"  The door opened a crack and she looked out at me.  I
tried to look earnest and it wasn't really that hard.  What was she doing?  Did I have blood on my face still?  I couldn't, it rained to hard.  She opened the door a bit more. "Van?"  She asked again.
I nodded, drenched to the bone now from the downpour and I was happy my shirt was
dark, otherwise she would've seen the blood on it.  "Yea.  Why are you being so weird?"
She opened the door all the way and ran off to the hallway.  I stepped in and closed the
door behind me.  I was still wondering why she was being so strange in her behavior.  On top of
that she'd been sitting in front of the door.  Had she woken up and waited for me?  I bit my lip
worried and guilty.  Pixy came back with a towel and draped it around my shoulders maternally. She looked older for some reason.  Like she wasn't ten any more.  "Van," She said slowly,
thinking about her words.  "Van," This time she looked at my face and I watched her eyes roam
across it curiously, "What did you do to yourself?" 
I blinked, not understanding what she was saying, "What do you mean?"  I opened up my
room's door and grabbed some pants, yanking my shirt off.  I didn't realize I was so skinny, I
could see my bones through my skin.  I hadn't gotten all the blood off my either, some was still
on my arms.  Pixy turned her back as I pulled the rest off and changed.  "I haven't done
anything."  I prayed I was telling the truth.  I could have done anything during that black out.  I
started to towel my hair. 
Pixy sat on my bed and watched me closely, "Take a look in the mirror, Van." 
I turned on the light and took a good look in the long mirror on my wall. It showed a
person that scared me.  His skin was stretched over his long frame, with purple tattoos on his
forearms, face, and legs.  I didn't check to see if he had some on his back.  Black cat ears stuck
out in contrast from his silver hair that shined in the light and he had icy blue eyes that pierced
through the thickest of exteriors, like they were driving into one's soul.
I slowly turned back to Pixy and I noticed her eyes were large with fear.  I stared down at
my large, bony hands and I sighed deeply, closing my eyes.
"What..." Pixy took a deep breath and tried again, "What happened, Van?"
"I don't know, Pixy."  My rough voice was so monotone it would have startled me, if I
had cared.  I couldn't think right now.  The only thing running through my head was a certain
lord of the Netherworld.....
"That's right, Donovan Lee."  I whirled around and saw the Astaroth in the mirror.  He
was grinning again, "I'm part of you now, and the all-black look had to go."  He laughed a light,
airy cackle.  I glared at him.  He looked at Pixy in the mirror and his tail twitched along her face
and I heard Pixy shift on my bed.  Astaroth looked back at me, "I need to return to your world
and you're my ticket.  You stay alive, Donovan Lee, and I'll make your life easy."
"And if I don't?"  I asked. 
"Don't what?"  Pixy asked making me realize what I must look like now.  Astaroth only
grinned and disappeared.
I turned back to Pixy and shook my head, "Nothing, nothing."  I ran a hand through my
new hair and sighed, sinking down on the bed next to her. 
She reached out and gingerly reached out to my hair and took a bit of it between her
fingers.  I glanced over at her in a sidelong gaze.  She was staring intently at the strands of silver
and rolling them between her thumb and index finger.  "It doesn't look–half bad."  She caught
my gaze and tempted a smile.  I gave her one back, happy she looked at the good side. 
She reached an arm around me and gave me hug and for some strange reason I didn't
fight it.  I let her hug me and I liked it.
~ ~ A ~ ~
No one recognized me anymore, ever since Astaroth decided to invade my being and turn
it into a copy of himself.  I looked so emaciated and hardly any of my clothes fit anymore.  I had to pin the collar together to keep it from falling off my shoulders, like Pixy. 
Speaking of the little imp–that's what she is–she was up to no good anymore. She spent a
lot of time with Penelope, learning secrets of the fairies and she delved into the books I had
pulled out of the attic.  I noticed quickly that Pixy was aging fast, much like I did.  I hit about ten and started growing really quickly.  I was only twelve and I looked seventeen (acted like it, too).
Pixy was growing into a young woman and had a charming attitude. 
We were out taking a walk one day when it was scheduled to rain and Pixy was speaking
of where she came from.  She wanted to know who her parents were. She didn't remember them
but she remembered an older woman with long black hair and blood red eyes and a man with
slicked back, shoulder-length black hair with a mocking voice.  That was all she remembered
besides for dark creatures, like the ones I saw and read of in the Necromicon.  I was beginning to
think Pixy was from a world I'd soon be part of–thanks to Astaroth's influence.
"The Netherworld?"  Pixy asked as I mentioned it.
"Yea.  A place in between Heaven and Hell.  A place where most souls linger, as they're
too pure for Hell but not pure enough for Heaven."  I shrugged reciting the words I'd memorized
from all the reading.
Pixy was quiet for a while thinking.  After we passed a bunch of people she finally perked
up and said, "What do you want to do when you grow up, Van?" 
I choked out a surprised laugh at the abrupt question, "Well, I suppose...actually, I don't
really know.  I like psychology, though." 
She smiled, "Yea?"
"Yep.  What do you want to be?"  I countered back.
She shrugged, "I don't know.  I like making clothes, so maybe a fashion designer?"  I
gazed at her ensemble of multicolored jeans with patches of patterned fabric and the shirt that
looked like a quilt with fabric-marker words.  I hid my laughter in a slight smirk.
"That would be interesting, Pixy."  She caught my grin and gave me a soft punch in the
arm.  We ended up laughing at each other.
We stopped at the cemetery and I knelt down, giving a prayer to my family.  It was a
ritual now with Pixy and me; taking a walk and always stopping here.  I stood up and Pixy
stepped up to me, as the rain started to sprinkle around us.  I gazed up at the sky and sighed
happily, "I love the rain."
"Me, too."  She said twirling around slowly.  She stopped and looked at me, "Tell me
about them."  She glanced at the markers, "If you don't mind."  She gazed down at the grass that
was slowly darkening with the water.
I gazed back at the tombstones and nodded, "It's ok.  It's better to get it out than keep it
inside, right?"  I sat down on the grassy slope in front of my family and Pixy morphed to a
panther and curled up near me, all ears.  I continued, "Well, there was my mother, Katrina Isaki.
She was the greatest, I loved her a lot.  She died...trying to save me.  Then Uncle Aaron and my
cousin Karina.  The two of them also died when my house was ransacked.  This is Ryuu's."  I
pointed to the newest, cleanest one with a pang of the heart and I fell silent.
"How'd she...pass?"  Pixy stirred out of her curled up form and stood up straight. 
I looked at her purple eyes and turned back to the stone, "My brother...he's possessed and
he...killed her during one of the–excuse me for lack of a better word–‘episodes'."  I didn't know
what else to call them but episodes. 
Pixy shifted back to her human-like form and gave me a hug.  I didn't fight it; her hugs
were nice and warm.  "It must hurt."  She whispered as we embraced.  "I feel so saddened...that
you had to go through all of this suffering...alone."  I squeezed her thin frame to keep a cry from
escaping my throat.  In those simple words she'd expressed everything I'd been trying to identify for so long.
We let go just as the rain began to get heavy and, gazing at her, I said softly, "Thank you,
Pixy.  I'm not alone any more." She smiled, making her ears perk upward, and I couldn't help
but mimic the action.
We began to head back home when a sudden gust of chilling wind flew at us, stinging our
eyes.  There was a loud sound, like thunder booming right in front of us, that make my ears ring
for a whole minute.  When my head cleared I couldn't believe what I saw.
There was a rip in the air !  Literally!  Pixy gasped and that confirmed my thoughts of
going insane again.  The rip looked like someone had taken scissors and jaggedly cut at the
horizon.  I could see a deep, maroon-purple color inside it and there was the sounds of moaning
and tortured screams.  Pixy grabbed my arm tightly and hid behind it.  She asked in fear of what
it was.  I couldn't exactly answer her.  I believed it was a portal–a very messy one–from our
world to the Nether...or some other place like that.
With a loud POP a man appeared in front of us, through the portal.  He had shock-white
hair pulled back with insane, green eyes.  His skin was paler than snow and he wore all black
with a stripe of blood red on his right shoulder.  He was short and hovered slightly off the
ground, his legs crossed.  He looked like a poltergeist and I recognized him instantly; Puck, the
demi-god henchman for Raiko.  Pixy whimpered when she saw him and drew further behind me,
her tail curling up.
"You!"  Puck said in a loud, rich voice.  He had a sneer on his face, much like Astaroth's.
"You need to come home."  He pointed past me to Pixy.
Pixy gasped again, "W-what do you want?"
"His lordship, Raiko, wants to see his daughter again."  His smirk grew and I feared the
worst for Pixy.  Then it dawned on me he'd called Pixy Raiko's daughter.  What the heck?
"Daughter?"  Pixy voiced my thoughts, stepping out from behind me.  "This man...he's
my father?"  She took a hesitant step forward.  I grabbed her shoulder to stop her.  I knew what
Raiko wanted with her.....
Puck nodded happily, "Yes.  He is.  Your mother is there, too.  Please come back with
me.  He requests you be there." 
"Hey!"  I said, making Puck notice me.  Which I never got to finish my statement
because of Puck's reaction.  He gasped, his eyes widening, and stared at me.
"You,"  He said.  "You were bound to that book!  By that girl with...wait."  He looked
upwards, I figured he was taking in my cat-ears, and then back at my eyes.  "You're not
Astaroth."
"No. I'm not,"  I said blankly.  Pixy came back to my side silently.
"You look...You appear to be him...but you bear that woman's..."  He motioned to his
head.
"Ears?"  I helped him.  He nodded and I continued, "I'm not Astaroth.  What do you
know of him?"
The rain was pouring harder now and Pixy shook herself out as she got drenched.  Puck
didn't seem to be bothered.  He didn't even appear to be getting wet, as if the rain moved around
him.
"I know nothing," He said shortly.  "Give me the girl and I will leave you be.  Come,
girl," He motioned to Pixy.
She made to go with him but I grabbed her wrist so tightly she whimpered.  I gave her a
side-long look and she quickly took her step back to my side.  I said, "She's not going
anywhere."
"Who's my mother?"  Pixy ventured.  She was so eager to learn who she was.  "Please,
tell me."
"Come with me and you'll find out," Puck answered.
"I can't."  She glanced at me but didn't seem defiant, she trusted my decision.
"Then you'll never find out."  The rift opened again and he started to step out of it.
"VAN!"  Someone shouted; Ryuu.  Within the rift I could see a shadowy figure and just
by the outline I knew it was her. I let go of Pixy and ran to it.   "Don't listen to Puck!  Don't let
him take my–,"
"Shut up you wench!" He cut her off and called her harsher words that angered me
deeply.  Puck stepped through and I heard Ryuu scream.  Turning to look at me then at Pixy with a strange glint in his eyes, "I'll be back."  The rift closed before I could even touch it.  They were gone and we were left to get drenched by the downpour.  Collapsing to my knees I pounded the earth angrily.  Ryuu...that had to have been her.  Who else?
"Van?"  Pixy walked up behind me.  "We need to go...It's going to be a bad storm."
"I know."
~~A~~
There was thunder clashing outside the house, too loud for comfort.  I normally enjoyed
this weather but this was horrid.  The winds were so harsh Pixy was convinced (and so was I)
that there could be a tornado and we ended up sitting in the bathroom with a flashlight pointing
upwards between us and pillows strewn everywhere.  We sat on sleeping bags.  The storm was
lasting for a long time.
The power was out and we only had conversation and the storm to pay attention to.  We
didn't have much to speak of and the visit from the demi-god came up far too much.
"What do you think she meant by ‘take care of my'?"
"You won't shut up about that will you?"
"Sorry, Van.  I just want to know what the next word was...I want to know where I came
from....."
"Are you implying Ryuu is your mother?"
"What other words could have come after that?"
I sighed angrily and rubbed my face, then let my hand sift through my hair as I pondered.
She had a point; what other words made sense coming after that?  Ryuu hadn't had many
possessions and didn't leave any for inheritance.  But how could Ryuu have had a child?
"He said Raiko was my father," Pixy continued to think out loud in my silence. 
It clicked, then.  Raiko had his way with any new souls and Ryuu was a relatively new
soul.....  It was all slowly making horrid sense.  I still didn't like it, though...  How could Pixy
possibly be...Well, she did look like Ryuu.  She acted like her, too.  But honestly.....
"What did Puck mean when he talked about–Astaroth?  Was that it?"
I sighed again.  "Yea.  He's a lord of the Netherworld.  He got sealed up in a book, for
being some big time tyrant or whatever, I don't know.  I look like him, though."
Pixy bit her lip and I raised a brow in query as a huge clash of thunder shook the house,
making the flashlight's beam in her eyes move.  "Well," She began, "Why do you look like that?
We never, really, figured that out."
I grumbled inwardly.  I didn't want to tell her, so I shrugged it off, "I dunno.  We still
have to figure it out."  I knew she knew I wasn't telling the truth, but she didn't press the matter.
"What time is it?"  She asked.
I turned the light to my watch, "Nine twenty-eight."
"Gods...This is a long storm."
"I think it's a hurricane."
"What if it's the wrath of Raiko?  He's angry at me for not returning."
"Oh will you shut up about that?!"  I whopped her with a pillow.  She scoffed and hit me
with her own pillow.  Soon we had a brawl going between us, with pillow covers strewn
everywhere.  She whopped and I whapped back.
It finally ended when I got her in the ear and she got me in the nose and we both went
down.  We were laughing too hard to care that we'd both lost.  The flashlight had fallen over and
illuminated her face as she lay down on her sleeping bag and watched me.  I settled down, finally
tired, and gazed back at her.
"I don't think it's Raiko."
"Of course, not.  You're not the one he wants."
I made a noise in my throat and she hit me in the middle with another pillow, making me
cough.  I threw it back at her and muttered goodnight.
~~A~~
"Sit down."  I obeyed, still shaking from fright of the gun at my throat.  He pushed my
bare body down on the cold, hard flooring.  The room was freezing and my skin was covered in
goose bumps.
He ran his hands down my arms and chest, to my lower region.  I bit down on my lip to
keep from whimpering.  I had to get away...I had to!
"You're shaking," He said.  Then I watched, in the dim light, as a grin slowly spread
across his face, "I'll warm you up, real quickly."  My eyes widened as I watched his mouth move downward... 
"No, please don't."  I squirmed away from him.  But he held me tightly.  "No.  Leave me
alone!  STOP!"  He didn't. 
"Van," He said, his voice higher pitched than it had been.  "Van...VAN!"
I woke out of that horrific dream and the first person I saw Pixy, she was shaking me,
trying to wake me up.  Her bright purple eyes were worried, the lights were on now in the small
bathroom.  My head was lying on the tile, the bedding strewn everywhere.
"Are you ok!?"  She exclaimed as she found me awake.
I nodded slowly, feeling the typical headache coming on.  I always got headaches from
these nightmares.  Sometimes I got migraines.  I sat up stiffly and muttered for some Tylenol, the only stuff I could stomach.  Pixy went looking through the cabinets, found it and I popped a few, sighing deeply.  I hated those...well, they aren't dreams, that's for sure. 
"You're a very violent dreamer, Van."  Pixy said, matter-of-fact with some anxiety
behind it.
I gasped and grabbed her hand gently, "I didn't hurt you did I?"  I gazed at her and
noticed the red specks in her eyes, much like Ryuu's.
She shook her head slowly, clasping my hand, "No, no.  You didn't hurt me at all."  She
smiled softly and I exhaled in relief.
We spent the rest of the day cleaning up the house, especially the bathroom; feathers were
everywhere, from the pillows.   
I worked some more on homework assignments and Pixy got to work on the bills and
payments due at the fabric shop.  She'd taken a liking to working there with Feria, Penelope,
Ashelin and others.  She wore a lot of the newest fabrics, she made a lot of her own clothes, and
she was bringing in money to pay for groceries too.  I can never object to more money, so this
small job was fine with me. 
At about noon, Feria opened the front door and came racing in.  Much to my dismay,
Sean followed suit.  "Turn the TV on now!  Channel three!"  She yelled.
Pixy, who was closest to the TV flipped it on and I swivelled around in my chair and
watched the screen.  It was the news with a woman standing with a microphone out in some
other town, beyond ours.  A small line was scrolling across the bottom with other news but the
first thing that hit my ears was "Serge".  My black ears swerved up and forward so fast I thought they'd fly off my head.
News footage was blipping between cameras which showed Serge surrounded by cops.
He was unshaven and his blonde hair was dirty like normal, very unkept.  He was wearing my
clothes, too. However, they were so covered with dried mud that I couldn't tell at first glance.
The news woman came back on the air and reported,

"Though details are still sketchy, the police have confirmed the capture of a wanted fugitive, known as Serge, who was the cause of many homicidal cases in the past.  Around eight o'clock this morning, reported officials, the fugitive turned himself in, claiming that he was in fact the cause of the massacres.  Further details at seven...."

" I stared blankly at the television screen, hardly believing what I was hearing.  Serge had turned himself in?!  What the...
"I knew we'd catch that villain," Sean said to us, shaking a fist in triumph.
"Van," Pixy asked, "Isn't Serge the one who–,"
"Never mind that, Pixy."  I cut her off before she made my fuse blow.  She grew silent
and returned to her fabric, making me feel guilty as her tail curled up into her lap and her ears
shifted downward.
I stared at the television screen, still not believing what had happened.  How could Serge
just turn himself in?  How could he...Unless if it was because of Ryuu and what he'd let slip.
Maybe gilt?  I couldn't be sure and all I wanted to know was where he was.  I had to get him out
of there.  He'd die without a fight and I wasn't going to let my brother go down like that.
Especially not in my clothes. 
I hit mute but kept it on so I could watch for more info.  I was set on finding out what was
going on and how I was going to get him out of there.
"Van," Feria said hesitantly.  "It must be hard...But we had to let you see this."
I turned to look at her, dressed in a pink halter-top and cut-offs.  She looked so perfect in
this dark house and its sinister inner workings.  Sean was watching me with the same eager look
that kept ticking me off.  He, too, looked completely out of place.  I was beginning to realize it
wasn't them out of place, it was the house.
I shook my head slowly, "Thank you for telling me.  I really appreciate it.  I had begun to
worry since I hadn't heard about him for a long time."  I gave a half-fake smile, because I was a
bit glad that I'd heard about Serge, it just wasn't the greatest of news, and they mimicked the
gesture.  Pixy had turned back around in her chair, her braided hair cascading around her
shoulders.  With the light shining in from the window, she looked really beautiful. 
"Wow, Pixy!"  Feria said, rushing over to Pixy and dropping the awkward silence.
"You're hair is gorgeous!  I love it!  And your outfit.  I like the pants."  She smiled and I watched as Pixy blushed crimson, which, in turn, made me grin softly.  Pixy caught my gaze and we shared something I didn't quite understand.  We just stared at each other until Feria started
saying something to the panther-girl about fabrics.
Sean clasped a hand on my shoulder behind me and I whirled my chair around so fast I
thought I'd detach the limb.  Regrettably, I didn't.  He gazed down at me with the same
mismatched eyes and I glared back.  He sighed and motioned for me to follow him, he headed
towards the foyer.  I followed simply because I didn't have anything else do, and I figured I
should try to be nice.
Once in the room, Sean turned to look at me and smiled a huge, broad beam and then he
embraced me like a son!  Of all the nerve...
"You and Pixy are a perfect couple!"
I stared at him blankly, not following. 
He blinked, "Why the somber face, Donovan?" He gazed at me intently, "I've heard the
stories around town.  You two really are getting along well with this small house, eh?"  He
punched me in the arm jokingly, "So, when's the wedding?"
"WEDDING?"  My jaw hit the floor.
"Yes!  When?  Please, I'm so happy for you!  You've finally gotten over that–phobia of
yours."
I shook my head, "You must be mistaken, Sean.  Me and Pixy aren't in any way having a
relationship.  Much less getting married."
It was Sean's turn to shake his head, "But it's the talk of the town.  You two have been
sharing a house for...what?  Two years now?"  I nodded, inclining my head for him to go on.
"Well, rumors love small town, Donovan.  You know that one from experience, and now you
know it again.  You and Pixy, it's said, are indeed having..."  He closed his mouth as I started
shaking my head again.
Ok, I will admit that I do find Pixy attractive.  But no, Sean, you're wrong, I haven't
gotten over that "phobia"–as you call it–of relationships.  Besides, Pixy's far from interested.
We share a house and we get along fine, but nothing else happens.  How did this happen? 
I sighed angrily, "Sean.  None of this is true.  I can't believe you bought that bullshit.
None of it is true!"
"What's not true?"  Pixy poked her head into the foyer room.  My ears stood on end.
Sean smiled, "Nothing, dear.  Just a simple matter between men.  I really have to agree
with Feria, your pants are wonderful!"  He smiled as Pixy blushed again at the praise.  I rolled
my eyes and headed back into the living room to work on my homework again.
I brushed past Pixy on my way out and I could literally feel the sparks fly between us.
Maybe it was just because of the conversation with Sean or the way her eyes glittered in the soft light, but she was beautiful.
I growled at myself inwardly and rushed back to my work.  I heard Feria ask Pixy if she
wanted to come help with some new deliveries at the shop.  Sean and the two girls left me alone
from then on.  But not without Sean's wink as he left.
Idiot.
I buried myself in my assignments and hoped the stupid feelings I was experiencing
would go away.  Pixy was about my age now.  With cat-people the teen years come quickly.  At about eight we shoot up and start hitting eighteen within weeks.  That's how I got around so
well, I looked older than twelve.  Pixy went through the same thing apparently, she was about
sixteen now.  I was seventeen, almost eighteen.  Luckily for her, she was a girl and the growing
pains didn't hit her.  They hit the males most times.
I was shifting through papers on my desk later that night when I heard a laughing voice
next to me, almost like he was right in my ear.
"Hello, Donovan Lee."
I jumped so fast I ended up giving myself a paper cut.  I growled deeply and sucked on
the cut, "Damn it, Astaroth.  Where are you?"
I needn't look far, he was sitting in the dark window on the wall next to me.  His bright
yellow eyes glowing in the darkness from outside.  It was strange seeing him there on the
windowsill and yet he wasn't there.  I still couldn't get over it.
"Well, Donovan Lee, I see you've met Puck."  I nodded.  His grin seemed to falter for a
moment but maybe it was just my eyes.  It was getting kind of late.  "Yes, the little lackey is a
nuisance.  He doesn't like me much, that's why he didn't like you either."  He paused watching
me then his eyes widened, "Where's the girl?"
I blinked, "Pixy?"
"Raiko's daughter, yes.  Where is she?"
I shook my head, "Out."
His eyes glazed over slightly and I wondered about his sanity.....  I should talk, though.
He snapped back to it and with great urgency said, "FIND HER NOW!  She's at the cemetery.
Hurry!" 
I had the mind to ask why but thought better and grabbed my coat.
I got there in time to see Puck talking to Pixy.  She was sitting, cross-legged on the
ground, at the peak of the hill, watching him intently.  He was grinning just as horribly as
Astaroth and when he spotted me he muttered something to Pixy.  I reached the hill's crest and
she turned to look at me with cold purple eyes.  I noticed in the moonlight, however, that there
was more red in them now.  Or maybe it was light?
"Pixy, what are you doing?  Puck, leave us alone.  She's not coming with you."  I
growled.
Pixy stood up easily and smiled at Puck.  "No, Van," She said softly in her honey-like
voice.  I blinked and gazed at her instead of the demi-god.  "I think I'll stick with Puck this time.
I now realize everything....."  She snapped her head and gaze back at me and her eyes narrowed,
making me fear the worst.  "You lied to me!"
"About what?"  I couldn't believe this. What was going on?
"About everything.  You told me that Ryuu wasn't my mother.  Guess what, Donovan,"
The word pierced me sharply as she said it.  "It's true.  I have a heritage of nobility; Ryuu and
Raiko.  You also told me that you didn't know why you looked that way.  Well, Puck, here, told
me everything; About that evil thing you let into your body.  How you used me–,"
"Used you!  What the hell are you talking about, Pixy?  Did that–that–that thing
brainwash you or something?"  I was yelling and losing my temper quickly.  What the hell was
Pixy talking about?  Puck was up to something.  I could tell.  He was just watching with a bizarre glint in his eye. 
I was so busy glancing at Puck that I didn't see Pixy walk up to me.  A throbbing pain
shot through my face; she'd backhanded me!  I gasped and, gaining my composure, stared at her.
Pixy had just slapped me; hard.   And I couldn't believe how quickly she'd turned on me.  I
could only stare at her in awe and wait for the next deafening words.
Her ears were pinned back all the way and her tail twitched so violently I feared it would
break in half soon.  "You used me to get money in the house.  And don't think I know your
plans.  One night...one night you'd tie me up and–and–," She didn't finish because I interrupted.
"Pixy!  Listen to yourself!"  I ducked as she swung at me again.
I heard Puck cackling.  "That's right, Pixy.  Beat him up.  Use what your father gave you.
I'll be back later, dear.  Nice knowing you, Donovan Lee."  He disappeared through that stupid
rift again and left me to dodge Pixy's swings.  It had to have been brainwashing.  Pixy would
never have done this before.
"So, Donovan, want to see what my heritage gave me?"  She grinned so sinisterly it gave
me shivers.  Her eyes were purple, blood red with specks of purple in them now.  I back away
from her, watching as she lifted her head to the sky.
The full moon illuminated her golden curls the had fallen out of the braids, her fists were
clenched and her eyes were closed tightly.  A deep growl resonated from within her and she cried out as I saw huge black, ragged wings erupted from her back.  Blood of the same color flew out from her ripped skin.  I was in such close proximity that some flecks fell on my bare arms.  I yelped as it burned me like acid, steam rising from the spots. 
"PIXY!  STOP! PLEASE," I cried out to her but she only lowered her head watching me
with glowing red eyes.  My breath caught in my chest; this was serious.  She wasn't going to
stop.  She meant to really hurt me...she meant to kill me.  I sighed deeply and staring at her I said softly, "I won't hurt you, Pixy.  You'll have to kill me before I hurt you."
She didn't need a twice telling.  She leaped into the air and pummeled me furiously.  Her
punches were powerful and the acidic blood burned my flesh.  However, no matter how much I
ached, I wasn't going to hurt her.  I couldn't do it.  Pixy meant too much to me...She really did
mean something to me.  I had an epiphany while I got the shit beat out of me.
Pixy laid off when I fell to the ground and didn't get up.  I wished now that she would
just drive a stake through my heart and get it over with.  She watched me harshly as I stared up at her, breathing heavily and just as shallowly, from the grassy ground.  It had to be somewhere
past midnight, the moon was high.
"Get up, you bastard."  Pixy glared daggers at me and bent down.  I winced as she seized
the collar of my shirt and hoisted me to my shaky feet.  "You sicken me, Donovan Lee Isaki.  I
trusted you.  You were my friend and now..."  She spat in my face as her fist collided with my
middle.  I doubled over coughing and gasping for breath.  I couldn't breathe at all, like my lungs
had clenched tight and wouldn't open up again.  She let go of me and I fell to my knees, keeling
over on my side.  She left me there for what seemed like an hour.  I caught my breath, breathing
in the wonderful oxygen then she dragged me back to my feet and caught my eyes.
"Pixy," the softness of my voice startled me.  Pixy pulled back her fist to punch me again
and I blurted out, "Okay, no more secrets!  Remember when you asked about my dream?"  She
faltered, and nodded slowly.  "Pixy, I've never lied to you.  I-I just keep secrets, but I never tell
lies–especially not to you.  Not to someone as special as you."  Her fist fell slowly to her side as she watched me closely, still holding me up tightly.  I was thankful; I probably wouldn't have
stood on my own.  "Well, the things Puck said are false but I guess you don't believe that, huh?
Heh.  But, Pixy, I want to tell you why I scream in my sleep....."  Pixy stood lax finally, still
holding me up, thank gawd, watching me with curiosity.  I bit the inside of my cheek, wishing I
hadn't brought this up, but I had to–for my life and my sanity, I had to. "Well, you know when I was young, my mom and family were burned to the ground...with the house, right?  That same
night...I was trying to find a place to stay...and I ran into a man who...He said he'd take care of
me.  I was only eight or so at the time, I was young and–so I–Well, he–and then I went with
him–I was really–well, I was–traumatized, really...and...and he..."  I managed to stutter out a few more lines before a lump in my throat stopped me from talking but I needn't have said anything else.  Pixy understood.  This was the first time I'd ever told anyone.  Sean knew something had happened that night but he didn't know I was raped.
I watched as her wings disappeared slowly, sort of disintegrating into dust and her eyes
became more purple.  She gasped and said my name, my nickname, wrapping me in an embrace
that kept me up off the ground.  I felt like I could have died, but Pixy's arms around me kept me
awake.
"Van...I'm so...I'm so–,"
"It's ok,"  I whispered.  "Home."  I was speaking with the least amount of force.
Pixy nodded and wrapped an arm under mine to hold me up and we made it back home
slowly.
 ~ ~A~ ~
I woke some time near noon, sore and exhausted.  I sat up slowly, moving Pixy's arm as I
did so.  We'd stayed awake most of the morning tending to the bruises on me and the bad cut on
my arm.  It healed up nicely thanks to Pixy's skills with herbs.  I didn't know she had it in her.
Pixy mumbled something about frosted flakes and it made me grin, though it didn't last
long.  How had Puck turned Pixy against me so quickly.  Why had he done it?  I rubbed my
sleep-filled face and got out of bed.  I stumbled down the hall and into the bathroom.  If anyone
could help me it'd be him.
"Astaroth, answer me."  I leaned on the sink's counter and watched Astaroth's cattish
form appear in the mirror. 
"You know, you don't have to be near a mirror to speak with me, Donovan Lee."  He
licked a paw absentmindedly, as if mocking me.
"Fine.  That makes things easy.  I'll get fix breakfast."  I turned and walked out of the
room and into the kitchen.  "Why is Puck so–tweaked about you?"
"Oh, that thing hates me.....Old grudge."
"Of?"  I yawned as I reached for some cereal in the pantry.
"Now you're mocking me, is it?  Puck used to be of very high stature–he is a demi-god
after all.  However, he decided to mess with me one day, and I taught him why I was ruler and he wasn't. I put him down the charts and now he works for that pig, Raiko."
I nodded soaking the information up like a sponge.  "Why didn't you tell me all this when
you possessed me?"
He shrugged inside my mind, "You never asked, Donovan Lee."
"Don't steal my lines."  I growled softly.  "Anyway, how'd he get control on Pixy?  How
could she possibly give up so much power to him?"  I was thinking out loud now. 
Astaroth answered anyway, "He's a demi-god.  Give him some credit."  I nodded my
head to one side, considering he had a point.  "Besides, Pixy desperately wanted to know her
parents, her mind wasn't as guarded as it normally would be.  Thus, he could easily get a hold on
it.  You see?"  I nodded again.  "She's stronger than I thought.  Look at you."
"I did."  I sighed.  "She is a lot tougher than she looks isn't she?"  I couldn't help but
laugh.  When I'd first found her she was this small little girl, totally defenseless.  Now she was in her teens and beating me up!  It was so ironically funny I had a coughing fit trying to contain my laughter. So, finally realizing it wasn't that funny, I left the conversation be and ate breakfast that was really early dinner.  Gawd, I loved my organized life.
"Van?  You ok?"  A sleepy voice asked me.  A red-haired, black-eared young woman sat
down next to me at the table and yawned like a lion. 
"Yea, I'm fine.  How about you?"
"Ha!  Why are you asking me?  You didn't lay a finger on me...at least, I don't remember
you doing so."  She thought about it a moment and shook her head shrugging.  "You sure you're
ok?  I'm so sorry, Donovan..."  She frowned and bowed her head, staring at the wooden table-
top.
"Van."  I said, flicking her arm and grinning as she looked up. 
She rubbed her arm thoughtfully and smiled, "Sorry, Van."
I waved it away and stood up, "All in the past.  You want something?"
"Nah, I'll get something later."  She arched her arms over her head and yawned loudly,
her tail swishing this way and that, stretching.  "Gods, I'm tired."
"I hear you."  I dropped my dishes into the sink and cracked my knuckles.  I flipped on
the TV and flipped to a news channel.  I hoped there would be more on Serge.  I had forgotten
about my brother with all that had happened with Puck and Pixy and I felt guilty.  I was going to get him out of there, no matter what the obstacles.
Pixy slunk over to the couch beside me and checked my arm.  She undid the bandages
gently and ran her finger around the red scab.  "How'd this happen?"
I shrugged softly, my eyes not leaving the scroll bar on the bottom of the TV.  "I
probably tripped and fell on a branch or something.  I don't remember."
She frowned and left to grab some more gauze.  She came back just as I saw mention of
"caught criminal, ‘Serge', hearing at 8" on the scroll bar.  I glanced at the clock and sighed when
I saw I had a few hours till then.  Pixy sat down and picked up my arm, applying some herbal
medicine to the raw skin around it.  "You're healing quickly," She said glancing at the
disappearing bruises. 
I shrugged in response.  Half listening. It was probably a quirk that came with the
possession of Astaroth.  While Pixy went on with her talk of herbal remedies and what had
happened the other night, I was busy thinking of how I was going to get Serge out of jail.  Bail
wouldn't work.  One, I had no money.  Two, the judge was sure to confine him and kill him off.
After what he'd done lately, he would definitely be stuck in the chair really quick.  So, if that was the case I figured we'd have to break him out somehow.  Maybe there was a teleporter in the town?  Or a telekinetic we could hire?  Money seemed pretty important all of a sudden. 
I decided to pass the time looking things up on the Internet, hoping to find some
information on Necromancy and the lords/gods of the Underworld as well as the Nether.  I had
little luck and wasted most of the day trying.  Pixy busied herself with her own doings; mostly
clothing and herbs.  She kept to herself and I figured the thing on her mind was Puck and her
heritage.  The wings were certainly an improvement, as long as I didn't piss her off. 
I started raining around six and I sat outside on the porch, watching the water fall.  I
enjoyed the sound of droplets against the pavement.  Pixy came outside and sat down next to me, watching as well and enjoying the silence. 
She whimpered softly and stirred.  I looked over at her questioningly.  She frowned,
working her shoulders, "My shoulders hurt." 
I moved behind her and massaged them for her, hoping I was helping.  Her shoulders
were very tense and I could feel a knot underneath the skin.  "Where does it hurt?"  I asked and
she answered, lower.  I let my hands fall just below her neckline and she said to go lower.  I was
messaging in-between her shoulder blades now and she nodded slowly.
"There...gods, it hurts bad."  There was a clash of thunder in the distance.
"What have you been doing today?"  I asked, adding a bit more pressure.  I noticed there
seemed to be a large knot there.  I worked around it. 
She shook her head, "Nothing strenuous.  I just sewed up a new outfit and picked some
plants...Nothing really."
"When did it start hurting?"
"Just now...when the storm started.  Oh, right there."  She moved slightly so my fingers
were right on the lump.  I frowned wondering what it was.  It couldn't be muscle, it didn't feel
like that.  Pixy drew her knees up and laid her head on them, moaning softly. 
We sat for a while, still listening to the rain.  I loved showers in March.  They were cool
and the breeze kept it from being muggy or humid.  It was nice, watching cars go by, and
listening to the rain on the roof or the soft splashing of the water down the piping. 
Pixy suddenly hissed and stood up.  "Ow...gods, what the heck?"  She reached around to
rub at the spot between her shoulder blades and suddenly her blue shirt ripped and black wings
cascaded out.  I tried to move so the acidic blood wouldn't land on me.  I didn't want any more
burn marks on me than I had.  
I growled thinking ‘not again' as Pixy flexed her wings painfully.  Turning around she
looked at me and I saw her eyes were totally red.  She frowned, "Van...I didn't hurt you did I?"
Her wings folded behind her slowly, dropping more blood and burning the porch floor.  I shook
my head.  She sighed, "Good.  I guess this is why my shoulders hurt."  She said lightly but with a sad tone. 
I nodded slowly, "I suppose so."  I was still a bit confused.  Pixy laid a hand on one wing
and hissed softly, apparently the blood burned her too.  She walked out to the end of the porch
and held her hand out, hoping to rinse the blood off.  She gasped and said in shock, "Van!  It
doesn't hurt.  The rain...it..I don't know."  She stepped out into the rain and I watched her smile
in relief.  "It doesn't hurt."  She circled slowly, letting the downpour fall on her.
I stood up and walked into the rain, "It...you mean the blood doesn't burn?"
She nodded and flexed a wing.  I traced it, picking up blood on my hand.  It didn't feel
any worse than normal water.  "That's bizarre."  Pixy smiled and nodded, flexing the wings and
stretching them out. 
"Let's go for a walk," She said out of the blue, "It'll be nice in this weather.  No one will
be out.  So no one can give you, or me, weird looks."  She smiled, taking my arm and pulling me
along with her.  I shrugged giving in–though, with her touch she had me in a trance.  Her red hair
was sticking the her shoulders and neck, a few strands falling on her face.  Her eyes glittered in
the darkened light of the storm–it seemed no matter how dark, her eyes glowed like stars. 
She was smiling like mad, the pain in her back gone, apparently.  I was enjoying the walk
and being with her.  She radiated with warmth that pierced through my cold exterior.  Dammit,
Van, you're falling for her!
Which brought up the rumors of the town.  Pixy and I had been living together simply
because it worked out.  She needed a place and worked to pay for groceries, which helped me
have time for homework and other things.  We enjoyed each other's company and I'd never
thought of her leaving.  She never brought it up, either, so I'd never thought of how our closeness could have caused talk in the town. 
We were standing in the town square where some people with umbrellas stood talking or
walking to some other destination.  We stopped and watched everyone.  Some kids were
splashing in puddles disregarding the admonishment of their mothers.  I recognized one of the
mothers and children.
"Hey, Katie." 
The woman, with long black hair pulled back in a ponytail, looked up from her twin girls
and one boy.  She had a bundle in her hands.  She gazed at me a moment confused, "I'm sorry,
do I–know you?"  I smiled softly and nodded.  I let my ears twitch and grab her attention.  She
blinked and noticed them then looked back at my face.  I guessed she noticed my freckles
because her face broke into a smile, "Donovan!"  She embraced me lightly, "Goodness, how
you've changed.  What happened to the black-haired kit I knew?"  She giggle softly then chided
Gavin the stop splashing his sisters.  "Honestly," she said to me, grabbing Gavin's arm.  "I can't
do anything with them."
I nodded, "So I'm told."
"Who's this one?" Katie asked, gazing at my winged-friend.  "Is this the Pixy I've heard
of?"
I nodded noticing Pixy's smile.  She held out a hand and said, "It's a pleasure to meet
you."
"The pleasure's mine, dear."  The exchanged smiles, seemingly getting along.
"So, how are my two favorite girls?"  I bent down, letting go of Pixy's arm gently.  The
twins smiled sheepishly at me and said hi with soft voices.  Their black curls bouncing from their pigtails. 
"Tina and Sam have been really good lately.  They've been behaving much better than
their brothers."  Katie sighed and heft the bundle in her one arm and held tightly to Gavin's wrist.
I laughed, "Boys are always the trouble makers.  What's the little guy's name?"
Katie beamed proudly, "This is Kevin.  He's got his father's hair. It's about time one of
them did.  Hopefully the next will, too."  She patted her stomach.
I gawked, "Another one?  Goodness, you Sayins work fast."  We laughed together.
"It's tradition, I suppose you'd say."  She shrugged and gasped as Tina and Samantha
started jumping in puddles like Gavin had been.  "Tina!  Samantha!  Stop that.  Oh, Van, I need
to get them home.  Nice seeing you after such a long time."  She gave me another hug and smiled
at Pixy, "Watch him.  He's as bad as these three."  With that she walked away, chiding her kids
again.
"Wow," Pixy said, as she walked back toward our own home.  "Four kids and another on
the way....wow." She whistled softly.
I nodded, "Amazing isn't it?  I gotta hand it to her, and other women, it's amazing how
you do it."
Pixy smiled slightly, "I suppose."
 ~ ~A~ ~
Serge was staying in jail.  If he lost the trial–which I knew he would–he'd be
electrocuted.  It made me shiver thinking about it.  I had to get him out...I had to.
The rainstorm had stopped only just after e got back home and Pixy managed to get her
wings to disappear again, on her command.  She had little control over them, however. We'd
changed clothes and curled up on the couch to watch the news.  It was quite now, with the TV on mute.   I was staring at the fabric design of the couch, letting the days events run through my
head.
"You ok, Van?"  Pixy asked, turning away from her book.  She'd been reading many of
my mother's sci-fi novels.  "You don't look that great."
I nodded slowly.  "Yea, just thinking."  I offered her a smile, but she wasn't buying it.
She dog-eared her page and put the book down, scooting over to me.  "Are you sure
you're ok?"  She asked in her sweet voice.  "I'm sorry about your brother," She was the only one
who called him my brother and not "that step brother".  I appreciated her simple words of caring.
I nodded again, "I know.  I'll figure something out.  I'm sorry to be so..."  I couldn't find
the word I was looking for.
"Reclusive?"  She offered and I nodded, thanking her.  She smiled and tousled my hair,
"Don't worry so much.  Everything will work out in the end."
"How can you be so calm?"
She shrugged thinking for a moment, "I guess I just am.  I try not to worry so much, it's
all a waste in the end."  She shrugged again, not knowing what else to say.
I gazed down at the flooring and ran what she'd said over in my mind.  I shook my head,
"I worry about everything," I made myself laugh slightly saying so.  "I always have.  I just–I
don't know.  I always thinking ‘what-if' and expect the worst."  Pixy nodded, telling me she
understood.  "It's like–‘If you expect the worst, you'll never be disappointed', you know?"
She nodded again then said, "But if you always expect the worst, you'll never be able to
appreciate the best you have right now."  She beamed warmly at me, making my mood lift a
little.
"You have a point there, I guess."
"Of course, I do."  She grinned and punched me in the arm gently.  "Everything will work
out, Van.  Give it time."  She gave me a hug and stood up, retrieving her book.  "I'm going to
bed.  See you in the morning." 
"Yea, ‘night."
She walked past me and I swore I smelled the familiar scent of oriental spices.  I sighed
deeply, hoping everything would work out. 
I headed to my room ready to go to sleep when I heard a noise come from Pixy's room.
Like a sound of thunder, just deafened.  I walked back towards her room and leaned against the
door.  I didn't mean to pry, but after everything that had happened I had to check and make sure
the boogeyman was just a child's nightmare. 
I heard voices on the other side. 
"Hello, dear."
"Puck!  W-what do you want?"  My skin crawled at the name of that lackey, but for some
reason I didn't open the door.
"I wanted to see you again.  Where is the cat?"
"Van's...he's somewhere.  Why?"
"Because...I want us to be alone."  There was a tone in his voice that I didn't like.
There was a pregnant pause accompanied by movement and then Pixy cried out,"Get
away from me!"
I opened the door quickly and found Pixy leaning on her bed, Puck holding her against it.
Deja vu...  "Puck!"  I yelled at the damned creature, "Get away from her now!"
Puck glared at me with his vibrant emerald eyes and hissed.  "You have the most
impeccable timing!"  He turned to Pixy, glancing at me momentarily like he was making sure I
as paying attention and said, "I'll see you again, my dear Pixy."  And he kissed her.  A brief kiss
then he disappeared. 
Pixy lay immobilized on the bed, staring at where Puck had been before.  I dashed to her
as she finally sat up, very slowly.  "Are you ok, Pixy?  He didn't hurt you did he?"  I bit my lip.
She shook her head, "No.  He didn't.  He didn't do anything."  She held her head in one
hand, as the elbow rested on her knee.  "That was...whoa."  She sighed deeply.  I sat down on the bed next to her and was surprised as she leaned on my shoulder, her head heavy.  "Thank you, Van....."
I wrapped my arm around her carefully.  "Anytime, Pixy.  Anytime."
~ ~A~ ~
In the weeks that followed we weren't bothered by Puck or any other demons.  Pixy was
slowly gaining control of her wings but they bothered her constantly, causing back pain. It
became a nightly ritual to give he a massage.  I didn't mind it at all; I quite enjoyed the time
together.
Everything was blooming now, and there were kites flying everywhere.  Pixy and I took a
lot of walks when we weren't doing work or watching the news.  There wasn't anything on Serge
yet and I was beginning to worry.  Pixy told me I was being irrational and needed to chill out.
Thus, we found ourselves out in the park watching kids play and Penelope teaching some how to make wreathes and crowns of flowers. 
I picked up one of the daffodils Penelope was using and I intertwined it with Pixy's
auburn hair.  She smiled at me while I did it and I beamed back.  "Thanks," She said and took my
arm, leading me further into the park.  We walked along a beaten path through the trees in silence for a while, listening to birds chirping and the wind weaving random patterns through the leaves.
The bright sunlight filtered through the branches and sent patches onto Pixy's tan skin, like a
goddess.  Gods, she was gorgeous.....
"Van," Pixy started softly, her voice tender and hesitant. 
"Hmm?"
"Well, last night, when Puck pushed me on the bed...I actually thought he would do
something.  And I sort of had an epiphany then," She paused for a moment looking up at the
leaves.  She gazed downward and at my face, tracing every detail–down to the light-brown
freckles on my nose.  "I realized how you must've felt that night."  I knew what ‘night' she
meant and I knew now why I'd had deja vu, too.  I nodded slowly, not knowing what to say
exactly.  Pixy sighed, "Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."  She chided herself. 
I shook my head, "No, no, it's ok.  Really, it is.  I'm just not used to talking about it,
that's all."  I tried to give her a smile.  She nodded slowly and pulled my arm closer to her. 
We circled back to the park and watched kites fly in the air for a while.  The sky grew
darker and the wind carried the sent of April showers.  We grinned at each other like do-no-good
children as everyone started to head back home.  We, however, stayed, out under our tree,
awaiting the storm.  I enjoyed the rain.  Pixy enjoyed being able to let her wings out freely and
painlessly.
The rain came and Pixy jumped out into the downpour, smiling gleefully.  I followed
slowly, keeping within arm's reach.  I watched as her wings flew from between her shoulder
blades (she'd worn a tanktop so the shirt wouldn't rip).  The rain was heavy this time and we
were soaked to the bone quickly.  My jeans were heavy and the T-shirt I wore was sticking to my lanky form. 
Pixy danced over to me, her tank top tight on her and her cut-offs tracing her figure, and
she grasped both my hands, briefly, and shouted, "Isn't it grand?"  She twirled slowly.
I nodded and held out my hand, "May I have this dance?"
She took my hand and we danced slowly in the rain, twirling this way and that, letting the
water run down our faces and soak our clothes till it was as if we were wearing nothing more
than the rain itself.  We slowed our dance and caught our breath, still holding each other and
stepping side to side slowly.
Pixy gazed up at me and said softly, while her wings stretched, "I love the rain."
I gazed back at her intently and felt my stomach jump to my throat.  Without thinking I
leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "I love you."  And I kissed her cheek lightly.  Her ears
pinned back then upward in shock and I felt her tail curl up and run along my leg.
Pulling away I waited to either hear she felt the same or get smacked.  Pixy looked me
dead in the eye and was silent for a while, never letting go of my hand.  Then she wrapped her
hands around my neck and kissed me on the lips.  I blinked then closed my eyes, filled with
ecstasy at the feeling of her warm lips on mine.  I wrapped my arms around the small of her
back, pulling her closer to me.  It was like a dream come true, as the rain danced and played its
music on the grassy field around us. 
We broke off for air and I hugged her so tightly to me I feared I'd break her in half.  She
embraced me back just as hard and this time she was the one to whisper in my ear, "I love you,
too."  She laid her head on my shoulder and we slow-danced to our own love-sick song in the
middle of the park while it rained.